My heart feels so empty and I feel like I am in a room that is dark and I cant find the light or the door to get out of it. I have really been dealing with my relationship with the Lord. I feel like every time I am really doing well with my Bible reading, and I am wanting to get more and more in to the word and spend quit time with Him. That is the time when I end up thinking I can do it all on my own. And then I fall, and realize I was being really stupid and cant do any thing on my own.
This morning I was working out with one of my good friends and she was saying how our walk with the Lord means dieing to self EVERY day. And she is so right!!!! We may be the greatest Christian, but we still fail and need to get up in the morning and know we are nothing with out our Lord and Savor. And at night before we go to bed we need to come to him on our knees asking for forgiveness for our sins. We need to die to self. And that is some thing I am going to have to really work on.
I don't know, I feel like I am just rambling about nothing. I hope I am making since to who ever may be reading this.
I am just trying to get my feeling written down. This has been some thing I have been dealing with for a while now. I want to be closer to the one I love. The one who saved me from death, and washed me clean. The one who says I am beautiful, even after He knows about all my sin and filth. The one who loves me no matter what I do, or were I fail. He loves me with an everlasting love! Oh how I am so thankful He is a loving, forgiving God. How I am thankful He loves a sinner like me.
I guess what I am trying to say is I don't want to fit the Lord in to my life. I want to fit my life in to my walk with the Lord. I think it is so wrong of me to not make time to praise and worship an ever holy God. It is wrong that I don't come to Him for EVERY thing.
If you are reading this, don't fit God in to your life. Work your life around Him. I hope I made some kind of since today.
Lord, hear me today!!!!!