Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Keep Asking Myself

I ask myself why I feel this way.... When I already know the answer. I keep telling myself I am okay, there is always tomorrow, tomorrow I will change things. But wait.... What is tomorrow never comes. "I want to live a life worthy of Your calling" I don't feel, no, I know I am not living that life. I keep on falling in to the same sins over and over again. And what is worse, I let myself all back in to those sins.

I am not going to go in to detail of all that is going on. But I will give you some time lines. At the age 13I started going my own way. I knew I was doing wrong, but self got the best of me. Well when I was about 16 I started seeing things in a different light, I got down on my knees before a ever holy God, and pleaded for forgiveness. And still today I struggle with some of the SAME sins. I will go cold turkey and stay as far away from any thing that will even a little bit lead me down the wrong path. But time and time again I have to come back and bring me sins to the cross. I know what I am suppose to do. But sin is so sweet {for a season}. And I have only been going my for a short time and, I already feel so tired, bitter, and so far from the only one I have ever truly loved.

Lord!!!!!!!! I NEED YOU!!!!!


  1. awesome blog
    very good to see your self acknowledging stuff like that
    very important but very difficult thing to do
    good job!

  2. Thanks! Now just pray for me! That I can keep my mind, body, behavior in check with the Bible and how God wants me to live.

    Thankful for you! :)